Whose Life Would You Choose, Nema: Book 1 Deleted Scene

So, this all happens after Jossus picks up Lillas from the police station after her run-in with Druis. In it explains why he was late getting her. Lillas’s mother attacks her again. But the main focus of this chapter was Nema who has been hunting a serial killer. She finds out the killed is in fact her lover, Evera. (Not a spoiler. It’s obvious in book one.)

I deleted this scene because book one changed so much after this was written that it no longer fit. In this scene they are at Evera’s. However, in the pubbed version they’re at a different house. also, with everything going on, there’s no real way that Nema would figure out who the killer is. She would guess that Lillas knows who the killer is. This causes some problems in book 2. She doesn’t discover the identity of the killer for a while in book 2, but she knows that Lillas knows and has known for at least eight years. Enjoy.



“Yeah. And speaking of weapons,” Jossus said. “Part of the reason I was quote unquote late was because I went back to where the cops had your weapons and grabbed a few for you. You’re welcome.”

Nema and Lillas looked at each other, then at Jossus. “Awwww,” they said.

“You did? That was so nice,” Lillas said.

“Yeah. And I know how you feel about firearms, so I made sure to get you plenty of stabbing weapons…Psycho.”

“Aw, I’d hug you but you’re a perv.” Then she thought about it. “Ah, hell.” She and Nema both gave Jossus sweet hugs that had Jin rolling his eyes.

“Hey, guys,” Lillas said after prying herself out of Jossus’s hold. “Where’s Ev?”

“He went to get Navin and Ana,” Jin said.

“Still? How the hell long does it take?”

Jossus gave her a knowing look. “Well, I’m sure it’s going to take some time to drive through all those checkpoints and what-nots.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m sure it is. Where’s my mother? And does anyone know whose house this is?”

“I have no idea,” Jin said.

“I’ll take you to your mother,” Nema said.

“That’s fine.”

“There are plenty of guest rooms,” Jossus said. “We should be good here until morning.”

“What about our families?” Jin asked. “They’re in danger. We can’t just stay here.”

“Jin, please, give me a moment. I could get you guys. I’ll deal with the rest of the city a little later. Nem?”

It’s getting dark and it’s going to be dangerous so we’ll be spending the night here. Jin and Jōs, will you go gather the extra pillows and blankets Ev has stashed in one of the closets and take them to the dining room, please? I’m going to grab the ones out of the guest room where Mom is staying.”

Jossus scoffed. “He has blankets?”

‘Yes, Jossus, he has blankets.”

“I mean, no offense, he’s just kinda the King of Cold. The Sultan of Solitude. The Model of…”

“Yes. Yes. Just go find them, please. Thank you.”

The four split up with Jin and Jossus going one way and Nema and Lillas going the other.

“Your face isn’t gonna scar, is it?” Nema asked. “Because we have to be in a wedding this weekend.”

“Ahh, it’s nothing a little Maybelline can’t cover up.”

“Good. Good. What is Evera?” It was an ambush. But Nema didn’t really think there would be a better time to ask her. And if she prepared her for the question, Lillas could come up with a lie far too easily.

Lillas paused, looked at Nema, then continued walking. “I thought you were going to ask me what Jossus is.”

She nodded. “We’ll get to that. We’ll also get to why you’re keeping secrets from me.”

Lillas stopped and looked at her. “They asked me to. That’s the only reason.”

“Why would Evera not tell me, as close as we are?”

“He’s afraid it’ll…complicate your life.”

“What’s gonna complicate my life is not his species. It’s whether or not he’s a killer.”

Lillas tried not to react to that, but she couldn’t help but swallow. She looked away from Nema and attempted to walk away, but her sister grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

Nema looked over Lillas’s face. “Oh God. You know, don’t you?”

Lillas looked down, then walked away. “He’s called a himmel.”

“What can he do?” Nema asked, walking beside her.

“Ahm, flight. Speed. Um, strength. Some time manipulation. But he won’t tell me the specifics of that. And manipulation of souls and spirits…and demons. But he won’t tell me exactly how that works either. He doesn’t tell me everything, Nema.” She took a deep breath. “And yes, he’s your killer.”

They had come to Marisai’s room. Nema stopped Lillas before she could enter. “And you didn’t think that was important information for me to have?”

Lillas sighed. “Of course I did. But, Nema, what are you gonna do with that? Arrest him? He’s immortal and extremely powerful. He’d never let you do that.”

“He is a killer, Lillas.”

“He doesn’t choose to be. It’s the nature of what he is. And, in his defense, he only feeds on really bad vampires, like vampires who give vampires a bad name. If he didn’t, he’d die. Would you really choose one of their lives over his?”

Nema sighed. She knew she wouldn’t choose any of his victim’s lives over his. Somehow, knowing that shamed her. “I always knew the vampire community was lying when they said they didn’t know who the Glass Killer is.”

“Of course they know. But they were more afraid of his victims than they were of him. They weren’t gonna say anything.”

“How could they not be afraid of him? He can kill them.”

She shrugged. “He’s a nice guy.”

“Well, what do they think is going to happen when he runs out of bad vampires to feed on?”

“Puh-lease. That’s never going to happen. There will always be bad humans and bad vampires. We have a whole other problem to deal with.”

“And that would be?”

“Himmels become whatever they consume the most…over time.”

Nema looked confused even though it was clear that she understood what Lillas was saying. “What does that mean?”

“To save his conscious, Evera feeds on the darkness of life. Eventually, that’s what he’ll become. If we don’t help him, we’ll lose him.”

That didn’t sound good. “How do we help him?”

“I don’t know. He’s been my guide through a lot of things. I don’t know if he’ll guide me through this. So between us, we have to figure something out.”

“How much time do we have?”

“I don’t know. He’s been acting strange lately. So I would imagine not much.”

“That explains his strange behavior earlier today.”

Lillas shook her head. “What’d he do?”

“He came up behind me and pinned me to my car. It was really unlike him. It was kind of scary actually.”

“Pinned you with what?”

Nema paused. She really didn’t want to tell Lillas what he pinned her with. She knew the ridicule she would come against. “Himself.”

Lillas smiled. “Uh huh. Naturally, you liked it.”


“Don’t lie. You already told me you feel most alive when your life is in danger. That’s why you became a cop.”

“All I’m saying is that his behavior was really weird.”

“Yeah and it was hot,” Lillas said as she opened the door to her mother’s room.

“Yeah, well, that’s not the point,” Nema said, following Lillas.

The room was pitch black so Lillas turned the light on. As soon as the light hit her irises, she was blind-sided by her mother. Marisai grabbed Lillas by the side of her head and pushed her back. She began slamming Lillas head into the wall, yelling at her, “You should have died!! You should have died!!”

Lillas screamed and yelled for Nema to help her. “Get her off me!!! Get her off me!!!” She tried to push Marisai off her, but the blows to her head were making her dizzy and it hurt too much to try to pull Marisai’s death-grip out of her hair.

Nema ran in and tried to peel Marisai off her daughter, but every time Nema pulled, Lillas screamed even more. Finally, Nema used all her strength to pull Marisai off of Lillas. The move caused Marisai to rip out Lillas’s hair at the scalp.

“Your brother should have lived!!” Marisai yelled. “You should have died!!” Then she grabbed Lillas and bit her hard on the shoulder. Lillas screamed as searing pain went through her entire body. Evera rushed in with Navin and Ana close behind him. He ripped Marisai off of Lillas and spun her away. Marisai tripped and hit the floor.

Evera rushed to Lillas’s aid. “I need ice water and a rag,” Evera yelled.

“I’ll get it,” Ana said. Then she grabbed Navin. “Come help me.” He left with her.

“I’ll get your sewing kit,” Nema said to Evera, seeing how deep the gashes were in Lillas’s shoulder.

Nema didn’t have a chance to take two steps before Marisai was back on her feet. She growled and ran to attack Lillas again. But Lillas was done with her. Her eyes turned white and she blew a burst of air at Marisai that pushed her mother into a wall, knocking her out.



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